top 10 ways to have fun on the bus

it's my goal to try all of these at least once.

10.

lean over in your seat, fart loudly, then wave your hands furiously spreading the ick. then grimace and moan while turning to the person next to you and ask them if they smell something.

9.

take the bus to the end of the route. right before the last stop, sit next to someone and ask them if this is their stop. when they say yes ask them with a very serious tone if they are sure.

8.

sit on someone's lap. act like nothing is wrong for as long as possible.

7.

take off your pants before you sit down. tell the people around you that you want to keep them clean, after all you never know what kind of freaks ride the bus everyday. bonus points if you are a "commando" kind of person.

6.

show up to the bus stop wearing a pink bunny suit. if anyone inquires about your little ensemble de boonay, tell them you heard it was supposed to rain.

5.

insist on sitting in your seat backwards while straddling it because you tend to get "bus-sick." this one works well with number 7 for a nice one-two punch.

4.

ask the nearest lady if you can borrow her mirror. when she hands it over promptly pull out your portable razor and shave off your eyebrows. make sure to tell her thank you for the mirror. eye contact is important.

3.

eat a huge lollypop while waiting for the bus. after boarding while looking for a seat, "accidentally" drop it on the floor, then run off the bus crying.

2.

spend the entire trip trying to set up a hammock in the back of the bus. kindly tell the other passengers to not worry about saving you a seat.

1.

bring a teddy bear. have a serious discussion with him about the stupidhead bus people. after an awkward pause look around the bus with a worried look on your face then ask him if he can hold it.