happy halloween childrens

i hope you kids have some great fun planned for this evening. i'll probably just end up making fun of the goth kids. anyways before we move on with today's festivities i would just like to post a brief rant about the retarded couple weeks i have had. it all started with a grocery store strike. all of a sudden i can't shop at all of the stores that are within a reasonable distance from me. good thing i was stocked up on ramen. then the mta bus drivers decided to go on strike. i can't complain too much because i employ another bus company, but traffic was definitely affected because the cajillion people who used mta now have to drive. add to that the closing of grand avenue in downtown and you have a sweet recipe for the most retarded commute ever. i am literally chasing buses around. why you ask did they close a street in downtown? at least it was for something important, namely the grand (pun intended) opening of the disney music center. i have nothing against disney and i like music, but come on. traffic has been messed up long enough while you built the damn thing, now you have to go all the way and pitch some canopies in the street. oh yeah, then southern california went up in flames. people died, more people lost their homes, and almost everyone had to deal with some measure of ash and smoke in the air that made breathing outside difficult to say the least. clear a space for me dad, i'm moving to vegas. ok end rant childrens let's have some halloween fun.

we got a new top 10 for halloween kiddos. also some spooky aim action. we got some new blossoms of deepness in the zen garden if you need a little transcendent pick me up. we also have a funny quote that i got to witness live and in person while getting some chinese food the other night.

i gave mau a few ideas for his website. lemme know watcha think.

this is hilarious.

strong bad halloween.

if i ever end up like this guy someone please shoot me dead. at least he's being a sport about it.

retarded halloween mishap. also this happened yesterday and halloween is today. good one.

a whole world of truth in one little image.

i guess someone couldn't bear another halloween.

our hottie of the week comes from dr g.

oh what the hell let's have some halloween hottie action while we're at it.

frighteningly fun games. muhaha.

sweet. world domination game let's you blow up people and stuff. you can thank me later weaz.

good clean halloween fun.

hit some zombies with a shovel.

can't touch this playa roll along

well nba season is back and i am a happy camper. what makes me a happy camper with a basketball woody is the way the lakers played last night, handily defeating a solid team in the dallas mavericks. i felt like i was watching a fundamentals of basketball video. i can only remember two dunks in the game from the lakers, the rest was easy layups from cutters and people hitting open jumpers. don't get me started on the passing. the lakers had 32 assists as a team last night, that will get it done childrens. also payton and malone decided they would both almost get a trip-dub just for the fun of it. oh the purple and gold does me right.

we got some random news to peruse.

this is what happens when someone starts a rumor that omaly will be visiting grand central station.

my roommate took a picture of me napping on the couch.

take a quiz and see what you should be for halloween. apparently the omaly is an incubus. even my monster personality can't help but pimp it.

uhhh......

complete burnination

this weekend my beloved southern california got toasted by fire. my sinuses are tweaked from the smoke. my car got covered with ash. the sky was a hazy orange/gray funk. authorities suspect arson. here's an agenda for anyone who is thinking about starting a huge out of control fire:

1. get a barbeque
2. remove the grill and fill the pit with paper, small sticks, etc.
3. douse the entire contents with a generous serving of lighter fluid
4. stick your head in the barbeque
5. carefully light a match, making sure not to light anything but yourself and the contents of the barbeque on fire
6. burn your head thoroughly so that just in case you are a cockroach and your body lives on it won't get any ideas about starting any more fires you sick bass terd
7. rinse and repeat you sick bass terd

in other news the omaly is now officially in a band. fear not the funk will be bra 'en childrens. we are starting with some barry manilow and simon/garfunkel covers for now. rock on.

in even more news mau got to hang out with dick clark. check out the photo in updated friends section.

i always wondered why buses don't have seat belts. (video, right click...)

honey dipped in chocolate.

latest in the world of disco.

me and weaz went apeshit on some coyotes

i live in an appartment complex that apparently doubles as a wildlife refuge. as most of you know my little abode is relatively close to the foothills, hence we have a steady population of skunks, 'coons, possums and the like. while this is different than the environment i grew up in (graffiti and police helicopters) i have since become more or less accustomed to my furry neighbors.

sometime yesterday there was a fire up in them thar foothills, which would prove to send the resident coyote population down my way. here's where the shit gets real. about 1:30 a.m. or so this morning i heard a ruckus comprised of shuffling, hissing and dog barking and yiping. i check out the window and see a pack of coyotes, two of which look to be attacking a raccoon. two coyotes had hold of mister furry pants and were trying to tear him in half. at this point i'm thinking "well that's nature sorry mister coon dood." i went into the living room to get a closer look and i begin to notice that the animal being accosted does not have the head of a raccoon. oh shit it's a cat. this is where the kai-yotes messed up. if you're going to kill a cat don't do it in front of my appartment. i've had cats for as long as i can remember. weaz has two cats. a cat taught me how to drive. i was actually raised by a pack of wild kittens. i am a big fan of cats so don't kill them.

at this point weaz is in the living room wondering what's going down. after i realized it was a cat we both charged down, he grabbed the hand grenades (read: empty beer bottle) and i grabbed the .50 cal (read: 4 cell maglite). we charge down the steps and weaz makes like randy johnson and fastballs the beer bottle right at them, no contact but they got the point. we hung around to make sure the gang didn't come back and weaz called some emergency animal place that finally came out at around 3 a.m. to check out mister kitty pants. when all is said and done the cat survived with nothing more than what appeared to be a sore front leg, no blood, no broken bones thanks to the dynamic duo of omaly and weaz.

needless to say i didn't get much sleep, four hours is being optimistic about it. you know that shit that builds up in the corners of your eyes while you sleep? yeah, i didn't get that far. the fact that i actually woke up in time for the bus today is a biblical miracle right up there with the egyptian plagues. let my people go. and to think we moved to the foothills to get away from the violence...

ok enough story time childrens let's do a beer review.

while shopping in my local grocery store i happened to pass through the beer section to see what was on sale. ok actually that happens everytime i go to the store but we'll have confession time later. anyways, while browsing through the "good" beer section (they were all out of pabst blue ribbon...) i saw six-packs of pete's wicked on sale for six bucks. as i am a fan of the british ambers (bass and newcastle) i figured it would be patriotic of me to give an american counterpart a chance to represent the stars and stripes in that oh so coveted territory known as my fridge. the fact that it was on sale for 6 bones made me feel even more american. as it turns out i was not disappointed. if you like the darker side of brew this is a really good beer. it's a happy medium between bass and guinness if you like dark brew but don't necessarily want to chew it. pete's is slightly darker than bass in color with a fuller flavor, a bit nutty with a subtle caramel kinda sweetness to it. this is a great brew to crack open with some grub or perhaps as dessert after chow time. on that note this is a filling beer. one a night made me feel right, two in a row made me a little slow. two of these wicked little bottles should be plenty for one sitting unless you are going for gut-busting beer mayhem. if you haven't seen it i have a top 10 beer list that you can browse for some more good drinkin.

in other news let's welcome beav to our crazy little 'hood on the web. not only did beav help me set up my site but he has one of his own and he's dam funny so check it out here. between the two of us we will probably find every ridiculous site out there not to mention we made two new ones. also we both get gassy sometimes.

deep thoughts, AIM, and news all got some more goodies and we got a new joke. also, i would like to take this opportunity to welcome our new readers from nevada. your state kicks so much ass it's not even funny. well it's kinda funny but only cuz life's funny like that.

tite stick figure flash movie. beav is 2 for 2.

apparently my soul is from the planet uranus. uh huh huh huh, i said "anus."

"hey man how much horsepower you got..."

the man-hug demystified.

this guy is bonzo.

i don't claim to be a genius but this chick has some work to do...

they should just name this car "jerkoff" and be done with it.

here's a couple funny priceless pics i came across. here you go. and another one.

here is our hottie pic for the week.

oh hell yeah. miss argentina can rock my earth any time.

game it

sweet graphics and relaxing music make it even more fun to kill animals in this game.

any game called "happy pill" is worth playing.

shortest update ever

today's entry will be short because every muscle i have is stiff, sore or both. vegas was a blast, i got owned by a waverunner on sunday but it was worth it, even if i walk like a pregnant elephant now. i did manage to show 200 profit for the trip. i just pulled a muscle typing.

roll on playa

as you may have noticed the peso pickings have been slim this week. all this was due to fantasy basketball. i am officially in 8 leagues now so i'm gonna have my hands full. i won't bore you with all the details but i'll show you the starting lineup for the league i am running.

point guard: steve francis
shooting guard: michael finley
small forward: kevin garnett
power forward: kenyon martin
center: nene hilario

other than my center i am looking pretty good, although he may come up this year and let's face it everyone wants to have a guy named "nene" on their team cuz that just sounds like hustle. i'm posting my nba season preview here so that those of you who are not b-ball fiends can keep cruising along. fear not now that my teams are set i will return to my regularly scheduled peso duties.

on an unrelated sports note my condolences go out to the chicago cubs. i don't follow baseball too much until october but i was hoping to see the cubbies take home some flags this year. also i'm going to be original and not mention the foul ball dood like a bunch of other blogs i read. shit nevermind. go yanks i think. before you accuse me of bandwagonning ask me my yankee story. i probably told you the story already rosy so you can close your email you forgetful little pancake.

we got some more random news today and a mini aim update. our deep thought comes from yours truly. we also have yet another reader submitted photo in the friends section. after a long absence we have a new top 10 list this week and we got some more action in the zen garden.

update: i forgot to post a picture of a hottie which i'm trying to do every week. so here it is. bonus: it's a decent pic but the way it's cropped she looks naked.

me and l.s. are headed to vegas tonight so i'll catch you all on monday have a good weekend childrens.

now here's a role model.

just for good measure here's a roll model.

you still have 2 weeks to plan your halloween costume. i'm going to be a beer connoisseur.

trippy role playing game.

cheesiest basketball game i've ever played.

i wanna be a baller

i was thinking about trying out for the lakers this year. i think it could be a good fit professionally speaking. i'm tall enough to play point guard, i have experience wearing basketball shoes, i don't shave much, i have 2 laker flags in my car, and apparently the only thing white boys in the nba have to do is smack people in the head. where do i sign.

no news section today cuz i been slacking to get my fantasy nba teams squared up, but we have a new pic submission in the friends section.

i gotta get some of these for the garden that i don't have.

i wish i could make stuff like this up.

take the easy way and marry me sweet thang.

here's a game that you might have played on road trips to kill time. now you can play it online to kill time but by yourself which is the hip thing to do.

shoot things flying in the air. warning there is some gore in this one.

this game is hard and irritating but don't take my word for it.

i wanna be a rock star

i finally have a career goal in mind. i figure a rock star would be a good fit professionally speaking. i have good people skills, i have mosh-pit experience, i am a team player, i know the capitals of most of the important states (good for touring), i don't shave much, i have significant experience with long hair down to my ass, and i have never been to kentucky (good for touring). i'm in the process of updating my resume but lemme know if you have any pointers. sorry the update is short again today but i have to get busy growing my hair out again.

i'm going to buy one of these games and play it with all my white friends.

the list of things this guy is selling includes a barkless tomato and palm pilot urinator.

the holidays are coming up so here are some nice insect recipes.

oh yeah there's some new strongbad today.

i had a retarded week

i met up with some high school homies for some thai food the other night. on the way out i thought it would be cool to rear-end a car in p-town. luckily i only scratched the rubber on the bumper so the vatos was cool and said don't worry about it. yesterday i decided to break a certain website. on the odd chance that i do end up doing work i usually break something in the process. me for governer.

the matrix reloaded will be available on dvd (and i suppose vhs if you still rock it like that) on october 14. the final episode in the trinity, err trilogy, "revolutions" will open in theatres on november 7th. i'm on that like a 'tard on the special bus. maybe i'll do an in-depth movie review and put my philosophy degree to good use.

another event i am eagerly anticipating is the nba season. it's still 3 weeks away but i'm already in the yahoo maximum of 4 fantasy leagues. me and weaz caught some preseason action the other night and i liked what i saw. i'm still getting used to seeing payton and malone in the sacred colors but it's a welcome change. i predict 70 wins. keep an eye out for my nba season preview. on a side note, the lakers are the only nba team i can think of whose home uniforms are a non-white color. they have a white version that they wore last season but only for sunday games. also for the duration of the existence of the lakers as a basketball team they have only missed the playoffs a total of 4 times. basketball conspiracy? tell me your thoughts.

if you haven't read it yet i archived my slightly facetious men vs. women article. i found some men jokes here and retorted (in)appropriately.

i set up my own little virtual zen garden. i'll keep it well planted with zen goodies that i harvest from the fertile soil of the great farmland that is the internet. we also got some new action in deep thoughts and a new quote. we have a new joke of the day and it's dam funny. once again we have a phatty aim update cuz you guys were on your gaim.

whatever you do don't show ray charles this picture. atta kid rose.

great video. you know the deal right-clicky and savey.

our random movie is a little out there but good for a laugh. thanks to dr g.

a dead duck got raped. leave it to beav to find the good stuff.

those crazy scots. what is the world coming too.

wowzers.

game on

this one's for beav (my condolences peng).

this game lets you upload an image and shoot at it.

lego basketball shootout. bonus points for being able to do a ninja-flip shot.

my newest online game addiction.

you're welcome.

you're welcome again.

we have a new governor here's an update

i'm doing another shortie today so that friday's offering will be up to par. i don't know who you voted for yesterday but send me an email if you would like to share your thoughts with the greater omaly community. i have to admit this is the one election that i came closest to actually voting for. then i remembered that i was hungry so i just went home. oh well the nba all-star voting is just around the corner. as usual the news section is updated today.

here's a crazy pic of l.s. and me. apparently i forgot to put in my pupils that day.

pissed off kitty.

another pissed of kitty, although i think this guy had it coming.

this guy is serious about being a vegetarian.

not the best first/last name combo i've ever seen.

welcome back me

well i hope the badgers were nice to everybody while i was out. badger day seemed to be a huge success. the road trip was kickass, way too much fun crammed into one weekend. i'll have some pics posted soon. here's an interesting tidbit i picked up on the way back on sunday. more of a reminder of something i had kind of forgot. remember when mom used to tell you "don't touch anything" before you went into the little doods room? turns out she was right. here's how it went. after taking a pitstop for a leg stretching and meal break i quickly realize that restroom facilities are needed, and soon. in my haste i simply use the restrooms in the facility i was in (which will remain nameless, but it rhymes with "sick ronald's"). this proved to be a mistake. to understate, the facilities were sub-par in regards to cleanliness. to be specific, i saw two things that really disturbed me while in my helpless state of disposal. the first thing i saw was a piece of toilet paper on the ground. not a big deal until i realized that it had completed it's tour of "uranus" so to speak. that's right, poo-paper on the floor. the second omen of doom was a dying cockroach. i have seen dead roaches before, i have even killed one or two myself. whether you step on them or spray them they die just like other mortal creatures. i have never seen one in the process of dying, however. those tough little bass terds have been around for millions of years and can survive for a fortnight without their head, eventually starving to death. i can only wonder what caused this roach to lie on his back twitching in agony. maybe he stopped for a bite to eat at paper le peu.

we have a short update today because i have actually been working lately. i hope to return to my slacker shenanigens soon.

show me where it hurts sweet thang.

most retarded purse ever.

finally someone gets it.

quite possibly the wierdest game i've ever posted.

happy badger day childrens

as you are (hopefully my faithful readers) reading this posting me and l.s. are on our way up north in the omaly-mobile to visit myke and tina (here's a pic of the four of us) and go to the races with the fam. unless it's thursday and you snuck in early in which case i am sleeping like a baby straight off the nip. if it's friday i am probably doing 95 on interstate 5 right now hence i will not be available on AIM today so i took the liberty of giving you kids plenty to do. also for some reason i thought it would be a good idea to declare today badger day at omaly. whatever you do today do it like a badger, which is tougher than it sounds because honestly who knows anything about badgers anyway.

here's a site dedicated to badgers. apparently in england badger day is june 19 but their calendar is all messed up anyways cuz they don't even celebrate 4th of july.

here's a recipe for badger and vegetable stew that doesn't really have badger in it.

if there is ever an animal kingdom royal rumble my money is on these badgers.

oh geez.

here's a flash movie with dancing badgers and mushrooms. i don't think the mushroom thing is coincidental.

on that note here is a badger racing game. bonus points for being able to bomb the other badgers and use NAWz.

happy anniversary and happy october

well folks, the omaly web has been the best online waste of time for a solid two months now. we are happy to report no glitches, we have not been hacked, and have received an overwhelming response from the community. we have grown from an audience of one to an audience of three in no time flat. to commemorate our accomplishment i'm going to keep doing the same thing i always do which is look for cool stuff to kill time at work then share it with other people if i feel like it. also it wouldn't be right of me to go about business as usual without thanking the unsung heros that make the peso possible: the countless browser windows that have lost their lives, the seemingly endless source of caffeine that keeps me from the inevitable desk coma, the internet for being more than abundantly ridiculous, and my job for essentially paying me to maintain my personal website. it's been a long hard road of yahoo searches, mouse clicks, and closing tags, but in the end we have made this world a more absurd place to live. that is all the reward i need.

we got some more random news. i also added a zen site to the left linkies cuz let's face it nothing jump starts the day like a little transcendence. ok except for caffeine but check it out. as usual we have some new aim goodies, but today, for the first time ever, i offer you a complete transcript, beginning to end, of a me and mau chat. take a walk into the minds of chaos.

my stocks are down. if you can guess my holdings i'll give you a dollar (unless you are my roommate).

bring your own snacks to the texas state fair.

mau took a picture of me not too long ago.

this is a kickass website that weaz found that is not only cool to look at but has some kick ass games as well, including one that let's you throw piss balloons.

amazing kitty refuses to die.

it's amazing how much time you can waste playing an archery game.

this one is for the table 95 doods.

i haven't posted a pic of a hottie in a while so here you go: