august 2003

i had 4 shots of espresso happy friday

my roommate has a cat. her new favorite game in the morning when i am getting ready for work is "attack-a-omaly". it started off innocently enough, attacking my shoe while i made a half-assed excuse for a sandwich (usually peanut butter and something else i can find, i.e. paper towels). then she moved up a notch and went for the calf area of the leg, even from a distance, doing a little jump. i know, how cute. it got serious when she launched from halfway across the room and lunged for my ass when i wasn't looking, it was a direct hit. i jumped like a little girl in a horror movie. i mean honestly, who throws a cat at someone's ass? oh wait this one flies. i think she is a mix between siamese and patriot missile. now when i see her coming i just cower into the fetal position and defecate. it was all i could do to leave the appartment without dialing 911 this morning. lunch? psh, lunch is for weenies. i have little kittens to run from.

i usually don't update the top 10 on fridays but since we have a holiday weekend coming up i have a fitting offering that may just help you enjoy the weekend.

we have a phatty AIM update cuz apparently everyone took they funny pills this week.

who says parents don't care anymore?

britney and madonna apparently kissed last night but i don't care.

"just one more question: what happened to the last person that had this job...?"

some dumb signs. (thanks to dr G)

a high school favorite. ( i own you linh...)

great idea for a game. simple concept but enough variety to kill a good part of friday. or enough frustration to kill something.

it's hump day no thanks i have a headache

my alarm clock actually gave up on me today. after an hour of constant radio (i didn't even make it to the snooze button but i do remember having a dream about rocking out to evanescence) it decided to just turn off. it's really cool when an inanimate object doesn't believe in you anymore. needless to say i am ready to take on the world today. i really thought we had something there alarm clock. it's italian food for lunch today sweet buddha i hope i don't spill any.

if you are anything like me you are looking forward to the huge last weekend of summer coming up. i have some stuff planned (beer) but my weekend is by no means jam packed. email me something to do. it's officially called labor day, but i always think of it as celebrating the end of the retarded month of august. as far as i'm concerned today is september -5, 2003.

we got some stuff to click through today. after you check out the AIM section, a few news stories and our new deep thought move along little doggie to all the good eats below.

satellite pictures of the united states. i found my house just by clicking.

good one mr. slick.

i'm so going to this next year.

this guy's name was wenis. also that webpage is on crack.

only 131 shopping days left until christmas. i'll make it easy, buy me something from here.

thanks i feel better now.

i need one of these just in case i need to race a small airplane.

triple the fun options. i like the the bouncy one.

ughhh five more minits mawm

once again i set a new standard for tired. i am the only person i know that can take power naps between sips of coffee. nba street has a bad habit of really cutting into my sleep time. i guess it's worth the trade off because it's nice to be good at a video game again. i have a yeti snowman on my team, and before you laugh please note that yeti has MAD GAME. his stat line is usually something like this: 5 points, 1 dunk, 1 rebound, 0 assists, 27 blocks. he lives to swat so get that shit out.

the last video game i ruled at was nintendo ice hockey. that's right, nintendo. that dates my video game prowess right there with the reagan era, stonewashed jeans, and glam rock. needless to say it feels good to be back in the loop. man the 80's were sumthin...

on an entirely unrelated side note i replaced the fuse case in my car which means i got my subs back. welcome back, sweet rumblings of goodness. now i can get back to thumpin playa.

here's a new top 10 list that will answer many questions within the omaly community. i also archived the other ones. i rule. me for president. on that note if you have something you would like me to make a top 10 about send it along and i'll do what i can. unless i can't. we also have a mini-update on the quotes and jokes page. it's mom's tacos for lunch today, thank buddha for leftovers and moms who cook. a fine irish brew would round out the trifecta quite nicely. pass the tapatio.

i was sorry to hear about this.

my newest addictive game, this one sped my friday along nicely.

an important decision you should talk to your cat about...

here's a flying mustang. mine just rolls.

i must have farted in my sleep.

booya

happy friday all the childrens. on that note i would like to say that this is a family oriented site, perfectly suitable for the little ones as long as they can pronounce the word "shit" correctly. if they can't sit them outside and have one of their grandma's sneak up and kick them in the hed, i guarantee the little shit will learn to swear. it's terriyaki chicken today, i may just cut the shit and dump all of it on my pants.

in my ever increasing effort to pull the omaly community closer together, i have posted a little questionnaire that will help all of us get better acquainted. my answers are already up there, i'll post the best responses (anonymously if you prefer) i get from the community. no cheating.

omaly got some new mail. check it out, then write me some more.

part of the united states is missing. if you have any info please contact somebody.

my theories are confirmed, i am in fact a beast.

i always thought the kung fu dude had issues. while you're there go ahead and watch all their movies cuz those doods rule.

our game of the day invovles fun with the spacebar.

i'm on my last pair of khakis

i have perfected the art of the desk nap. lean back, stretch the legs out, fold the arms and hang on for the wackiest wildest head bobbing ride of my life. i am getting to the point where i can balance my head perfectly for a good 5-7 minutes. i know i must seem like a really ambitious person but believe it or not i actually have even more goals. like posting some links. today is picture day at school kids:

this looks kinda gross but fake. then you see this one and go "dam". then this one really "jumps out" at you...

here's picture of a mcnugget-hed.

words to live by really...

my grandma never played this game with me.

and then the clouds came rolling in...

oh sweet relief. for the first time in a biblical generation it will actually be cooler than a thousand degrees. the cloud cover overhead looked quite promising in ensuring my evil plan of actually going outside today. lately it's been too hot to do anything but have a nice heat stroke or evaporate altogether. on that note the month of august has got to be one of the most useless inventions ever. i should invent the anti-august.

on another side note, yesterday was a bad day for khakis. for lunch i ate an entire double cheeseburger before realizing that the entire time i was eating it dripped on my dockers (read: "just got them back from the cleaners" dockers). several hours later i decided to be even cooler and choke on some water. that's right, water. i proceed to make choking/coughing/gurgling/splashing sounds that almost prompted my coworkers to dial 911. i did a good job of making sure i got a little on the desk, a little on the floor, a little on my bag, and a little in the trash can, before i declared war on my unsuspecting trousers. thankfully it was hardly noticeable, the water spot was only about 15 inches in diameter. i am lucky to be so dam cool. if life is art then khakis are my canvas...

UPDATE (5:09 p.m.): i just spilled applesauce on my khakis today. i'm 2 for 2 folks. kickass.

someone please find this chic for me.

this bass terd stole my idea.

i now officially want to be a jet ski when i grow up.

what is this state coming to...

owned.

happy monday from all of us here at omaly

holy moses on a bicycle i'm tired. if i did the math right it appears that i actually need to go to bed at 6:30 p.m. to avoid feeling like a comatose zombie in the morning. also unfortunately i am unable to post any links today because i don't feel like it.

i did however take the liberty of posting some pics from the metallica concert so check 'em out.

we have a new top 10 list today, but don't worry, you can still check out the first one here. buddha knows it's my daily source of inspiration.

i did a little men versus women page because let's face it it's never been done before.

we also have a new section, o'maily, where i respond to reader emails. strongbad i am not, but drop me a line.

happy friday i'm sleeping til 3 tomorrow

hey kids we have some fun stuff today to ease us right on in to the weekend. i'm gonna stay up until at least 11:30 tonight playing video games don't tell mom. looks like frozen burritos for lunch today, pass the microwave please. oooh it's payday today, after i pay my bills i'm gonna treat myself to some free napkins at del taco.

this video is hilarious, maybe you have seen it before.

another winner, this one is animated.

this game isn't all that exciting but it's cool cuz you can make a stick figure bleed.

endless fun! i only played once and it was a tie.

who hasn't wanted to have this job at one time or another.

here's a pic of me and rachel on a date. she likes to dress up for me. the date went pretty well except i forgot my body again. stupid floating head syndrome. shut up i'm not purple.

i made the bus today it's a miracle

tomorrow my goal is to make the bus without having my shirt on backwards so someone at the bus stop can point it out. it's good to have goals.

i need to get invited to one of these.

uuhhhhh....

games games games.

addicting, kinda like 3-d pong and you only have to move your mouse for this one.

here is a strategy kinda thing.

sweet tetris game that opens in a small window, perfect for killing the work time.

i have permanent hearing damage here's an update.

i didn't even hear my alarm clock this morning. i did however hear myself say "shit" when i woke up 1.523 hours late. i have some ramen-pants for sale if anyone is interested.

here is a list of some weird shit on the internet:

seriously WTF.

at least this guy is passionate about something.

this is an interesting hobby with quite a following.

sweet.

my ears are still ringing but i have my normal voice back welcome to omaly

i love when cool shit happens to me, like when part of my lunch leaks through the tupperware. then if i'm really lucky while i'm cleaning it up i get some on my pants too. i can't wait to eat my favorite lunch today, ramen flavored everything. maybe i will just eat my pants. that's right ladies, look for me on the street, i'll be the cool guy with no pants and a stomach ache that smells like ramen.

dum-dums never cease to amaze me.

i'm glad i finally found this. no more trial and error, all the rules are right there.

coincidence? i think not...

also i put up my first top 10 list and it's a good one. enjoy.

i went to a metallica concert on saturday. how the hell was your weekend?

holy shit what a bunch of badasses. i knew these guys could rock the house, but this was my first time seeing them live. crowd was INSANE, i had to leave the the front of the pit cuz i was getting smushed (it was also nice to piss and grab some beer). all good, as soon as metallica started playing i found my way to a mosh pit (peeps was cool enough to let me through). call it adrenaline but i was unstoppable for an amazing 3-4 minutes, mostly because as crazy as it was, nobody was trying to knock anybody down. i only fell to the ground twice, not from a hit, but because my ankle turned. that's right, i was the cool dude in the mosh pit that fell all by himself. who cares, i moshed at a metallica concert. my ears are still ringing. i'll get some pics up ASAP.

on a side note, should you see yourself at a concert in the future, i would not recommend moshing after consuming 2 beers and 3 margaritas in approximately 45 minutes. food for thought...

here's a link about the tour: http://www.summersanitarium.net/

when you get a chance buy all their cd's.

i need to marry a gymnist.

is god trying to tell us something?

welcome to my webpage.

now go home. just kidding.

endure the pop-ups for now, i'll get a real URL when i feel like it.