where oh where has the peso been?
where oh where has the peso been?
well kiddos it's been a while since our last posting. i'm not one to make excuses but my peso-hiatus is indicative of a deeper issue. in true post-modern, not quite gen-x form, i am complaining about it on the internet instead of doing something constructive about it. if you have a similar problem, the ideas that follow may be of some value to you. if not feel free to simply laugh at my misfortune. and by "laugh" i mean chuckle amusedly all by yourself with nobody but the internet watching. ladies and gentlemen, dudes and dames, i give you:
confessions of a paralyzed paranoid procrastinator
after a month or so into a new year and new status as student/teacher/entrepreneur, i'm basically as swamped as i've ever been. i'll be the first to admit i'm atrociously unorganized when it comes to daily mundane tasks. These are the very tasks that make up the bulk of my official commitments and responsibilities, so you can see the inherent conflict that follows me around like a little lost puppy in my mind. except instead of peeing on things and looking cute he bites my ankles and calls me lazy. psychologically speaking of course...
in the midst of what seems to be an endless list of tasks that need completing, i'm reminded that i would have ample time to do them and do them well if i were only organized and proactive instead of paranoid and scatterbrained. a sobering and ubiquitous reminder that i am what i am instead of what i could be. to be reasonable i should expect some growing pains during this adjustment period. i have to also be realistic and admit that up until now my current academic quest has been quite easy, and aside from a couple late nights here and there i've basically been on cruise control. it's been a nice vacation, but now it's time to grow a set and actually own what i set out to accomplish. out of these musings i can glean some minor but important bits of wisdom:
1. life makes you do things. everyone has to get up in the morning and spend time accomplishing things. the results for these actions may vary, i.e. a paycheck, clean laundry, or perhaps a meal that is prepared and tasty as opposed to raw and nauseating. work, doing stuff, chores, tasks, whatever we choose to call them, simply have to get done. those people who eschew these responsibilities altogether trade their ultimate well-being for this freedom.
2. choices get things done. while my opinions and beliefs have some impact on my overall existence, it is my choices that ultimately whack the ball out of the park for the win or whiff and send my ass back to the dugout. avoiding something i find unpleasant reduces me to the philosophical equivalent of an amoeba, blindly swimming away from negative stimulation. continually and deliberately making good choices regardless of circumstance or outcome entitles me to full status as autonomous person who has his shit together. also it makes aristotle and epictetus like me better.
3. worrying accomplishes absolutely nothing. i am hard-pressed to recall a personal incident or even second-hand account of worrying actually improving a situation. if i were candid i would admit that any anxiety towards a situation is actually worse than the trite little bit of unpleasantness itself. for every college paper or final exam or phone call to the IRS that had me paralyzed with worry, the actual actions of handling the situation at hand were decidedly tame and bearable compared to the nightmarish concoctions of my anxiety-prone imagination (except for that very first visit to the chiropractor; smooth sailing after that...). while worry and anxiety are a permanent aspect of the human experience, a paralyzing fear of one's responsibilities is the antithesis of the human potential.
4. responsibilities are actually opportunities. a few gifted people realize this consistently and operate accordingly, some of us mull around and watch the gifted get stuff done. finishing the laundry and taking out the trash probably won't give me straight A's in all my classes. paying my taxes is unlikely to lead to a multi-million dollar record contract. catching up on my paperwork will not magically make me a better bass player. however, all of the above mentioned banalities are actually little gems of opportunity in disguise. if i seize an opportunity to knock out some laundry, mail that last check out, or perhaps finish up a round of paperwork, i increase my potential for realizing other opportunities. a clean house, paid bills and an empty in-box are all little gifts of time and mental tranquility to pursue other goals. if i view work as an opportunity to improve myself as opposed to something that steals valuable time (it seems to go away no matter what...), chances are i'll get more bang for my buck. a consistent routine of proactive productivity makes me a more confident person and gives me plenty of time for the important stuff, like learning or composing a hit song or drinking coffee for three hours.
5. goals are nice but priorities are better. in the span of my existence i have had countless goals, a few of which have actually come to pass. i've wanted to be a scientist, a professional classical guitarist, a homeowner, debt-free, a corvette driver, really good at poker, a college graduate, a millionaire, blah-blah-blah you get the picture. i got the college degree and some poker chops but that's about it. in comparison, i have very few priorities but i hold to these with relentless endurance. a few of my priorities include being a good teacher, an encouraging person, a good friend, and a person of integrity. all of these things i do with otherwise uncharacteristic conviction. the problem with my goals wasn't their degree of difficulty or my discipline in pursuing them. the problem was their vague status as something i thought i wanted without an understanding of what i was willing to commit to in order to attain them. my priorities on the other hand are not open for interpretation. i refuse to be dishonest. i am encouraging as opposed to discouraging to the people i come in contact with. my priorities have a constant influence on my character whereas my goals seem to provide nothing more than daydream fodder. i am better served to make practice time a priority than i am dreaming about winning the Nobel prize for bass guitar. the simplest priorities seem to make the best results as they seem to permeate everything i do.
well there you have it. i'm a procrastinator. if there were a support group i would probably join, although i imagine the meetings would either never start on time or be constantly rescheduled. whatever, i'll look into it tomorrow...
dude pay attention...
Monday, February 12, 2007
